Stranger than Fiction

This is probably the quickest update on my “20 Firsts” list so far! I am pleased to announce that I have finally finished reading “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows”, and have thus completed the entire series. This probably doesn’t sound like much of an achievement, but I have waited 4 years to actually do this! I still remember debating possible plots with Dean and Thomas in 2004, just after the sixth book in the series had been published, as we tried to figure out what J.K. Rowling had in store for Harry in the final book. While it was published in 2006, I didn’t buy a copy for a couple of months – mostly because my mother was hunting for a copy that didn’t cost R300, and since I was immersed in tons of reading for my English literature courses at the time, I didn’t even have the opportunity to read it when we eventually bought it. And so, the book has been sitting appetizingly on my shelf for the past year and a half or so, waiting to be read. I eventually gave in last December, and decided that in my 2 month long holiday, I would read the entire series, but I ran out of time – especially since I was presented with two 900 page books to read for my course (as an aside, I would just like to warn everyone never to read “Middlemarch”. It is amazing – nothing happens in it, consistently, for over 900 pages, and then it ends. I am 1 of probably 5 people in my course who have read the book, and I suspect that 3 of the other people actually only read the Sparknotes). I did manage to re-read the first 5 books, and as soon as my academic work came to an end this year, I reached for the sixth book, which I finished about a week ago, and then moved onto the final book. It has been nail-biting stuff. I must confess that if one were to walk past my room, you might also hear me exclaiming aloud, to no one in particular, as I read about the final exploits of Harry, Ron and Hermione, and, as many predicated I would, I even cried as I read the last few chapters. I finished the book about an hour ago, feeling a tad emotionally drained, as well as rather elated, and a little sad that there will be no new tales about Hogwarts, Gryffindor and Blast-Ended Skrewts.

Dressed to Kill

I have recently realized – with a bit of panic – that I have just over 6 months left in which to complete my “20 Firsts” list. With almost 2 months of holiday still left, I hope to get at least a few more of them completed soon. One which has been completed, however, was my mission to find somewhere to wear my little black dress. I’ve had the dress for at least 4 years, and have just never worn it, mostly because a suitable occasion has never really arisen for wearing the dress, since I don’t get invited to too many cocktail parties. The dress itself is a knee-length halter-neck, with a rather plunging neckline. In fact, the neckline probably accounts for at least 80% of the reasons why I haven’t worn the dress! As much as I would look good in it, it has just always felt a little too risqué to wear to a birthday party or dinner. It should probably also be mentioned that I actually didn’t buy the dress myself, as it was a gift – and I know that my taste is clothes is a lot more conservative!

Opportunity finally called a few months ago though, when Chris – of all people! – announced that he was having a semi-formal theme for his 21st birthday party! The theme was “Jo’burg Society”, and Chris’ vague description of suitable attire stated that boys should wear collared shirts, ties and pants which were “not jeans”. Girls were to wear whatever the female equivalent of the male attire was, and between us, Natalie and I assumed that this hinted at the cocktail dress department. And so, I decided that this was finally my chance to wear the dress!

The party itself was actually one of the most enjoyable 21st’s that I’ve been to this year! I had decided to drag Luke along, as my partner/date/plus-one, as the prospect of driving to Fourways alone was not one which I particularly relished. Having arrived at Luke’s house to find him picking out a tie, and after a quick (and very strange) chat with his dad, we were off, dressed to the nines – and personally, I was feeling a little nervous, on account of the somewhat daring dress. I really didn’t want to tarnish the impeccable reputation that I’d established with Chris’ family! Upon arrival at Chris’ house, we were greeted by Chris, Natalie, Dione and Morgan. It really was strange to see everyone dressed up, after having only ever seen each other in our casual, everyday outfits – usually jeans, t-shirts and comfortable shoes – for the last 3 years! After some socializing (and the awful realization that some of the students who Luke TA’s were around), we wandered off the other side of the house, where tables had been set up for supper. Having found our seats – each marked with a tiny wooden animal (which Chris assured were not chosen as a result of any personal resemblance to any of us) – we enjoyed the food, as well as some amusing video footage of Chris’ life and his dad’s emotive speech. Chris’ own speech was even more entertaining – mostly on account of his dry wit, as he told us how lucky we all were to have made the guest list for the party! And then he sprang a surprise, by telling us all to look at the back of our seats, where a new name tag was hidden, and to get up and find this name tag. This was Chris’ way of getting us to mingle – at least for dessert. It worked fairly well – I ended up the midst of his high school friends, but soon escaped when Kirstan and Marc arrived. After dessert, as everyone else either settled around the fire or went to dance, Kirstan, Marc, Luke and I amused ourselves by holding a spontaneous photo-shoot, assisted by the big, white wall which served as a background, as we spent the next hour striking increasingly ridiculous poses. This would later explain why the photos from Chris’ 21st only featured about 5 shots in which Chris was present – the rest were filled with Luke and me pretending to be matric dance dates or all of us posing as ninjas. We eventually exhausted ourselves, and spent the rest of the evening sitting outside, with Luke and Marc delving into philosophical discussion, while Kirstan and I dashed off to dance to the occasional song.

CD cover for our nonexistent band pose.

Matric dance shot

Super-ninja shot

All in all, it was a greatparty, and I finally got to wear my little black dress somewhere appropriate – and turned a few heads in the process! Hopefully, I’ll get to wear it again sometime soon!

Proof that Chris was actually at his own 21st!

The Wedding Crashers

As promised, here is my update on my search for a date for the wedding, or as it should be called, the “Wedding Date Woes”.

Sadly, my previous post did little to inspire guilt in any potential dates, and so I resorted to subtly making it known that I needed a partner by changing my Facebook status to assorted variations on the theme of “Candice is wondering if there are any eligible bachelors out there who would like to come with her to a wedding”. After 3 weekends of this, I only got 1 response, from Thomas*, who sounded eager, but then realized he was going away with his family that weekend. It was a case of “so close, and yet, so far” – something I have got used to in the last few weeks. After realizing that Luke, Duncan and Chris – all perfect, eligible bachelors - were unavailable, I moved onto the less obvious candidates on the bachelor list. First up was Shaun*. We get along fantastically, but having just returned from Cape Town*, and leaving for Austria* in a couple of days, the date of the wedding was a bit problematic for him. And so, I moved on to Alex*. This was a little more complicated, given that he is actually my ex-boyfriend. Nevertheless, he is a great guy and we still get along very well. I also knew that he would be the perfect person to take on a road-trip, because he loves travelling! Alas, it turned out that he was travelling to Sabi Sabi for the next few weeks… At this point, I must admit that I was starting to panic. The requirements for the date were moving away from “eligible bachelor” and towards “available and willing”, or at least “unlikely to make too much fuss if I abduct them”. Peter* seemed to fit the first category, and was thus the next option, despite having only known him for a few weeks. After much emailing, however, I discovered that, with his sister away and his grandparents being old and frail, it was a less than ideal time for him to disappear for 3 days. And so, I moved onto my last real option, Aaron*, an engineer, who was unfortunately writing a supplementary exam in the week after the wedding, and needed to commune with his maths textbook. Between these individuals were a few less notable others, who were not really options, based on their current girlfriends. Awkward!

And so it was on Tuesday morning, when I phoned Becka and told her that I wouldn’t be coming. I felt really bad about this, especially since I was the only school friend of hers who would be going. I was also incredibly disappointed, partly because I was looking forward to a weekend away, the wedding itself and just having fun, and partly because of the date saga. I know that the level of disappointment is generally proportional to the level of expectation, and so, if one has little or no expectation, one will never be disappointed. The thing is, I don’t think my expectations were unrealistic. After the engagement party, I really thought that getting a date would be easy, as I thought that I would either be in a relationship, or be able to find a date fairly easily, especially since I have a lot of lovely guy friends. Clearly, I was not meant to go to the wedding! My only consolations are that the guys all had legitimate excuses (none of them were like “Sorry, I can’t, I have to cut my toenails that weekend”) and that I have now well and truly got over any fear of rejection that I might have had! I have also saved a heck of a lot of money on petrol and accommodation (part of which I’m going to spend on getting my passport – and maybe a massage, as Luke suggested). And, I got a really gorgeous, (albeit horribly expensive) red dress out of the deal – one which will hopefully eventually be worn to a wedding, along with a lovely, eligible bachelor on my arm!

*names of people and places changed to protect the identities of the innocent/guilty/unavailable.

The Wedding Planner

As I mentioned in my previous note, I’m attending a wedding in 3 weeks time. I’ve been extremely excited about this for most of the year – although the excitement has turned to panic in the last month.

The wedding is that of my friend, Rebecca and her long-time boyfriend, Danson. I’ve known Becka for most of high school and we’ve remained friends during varsity. She and Danson are one of the nicest couples I know, and while I’m usually pretty adamant that people should avoid getting married young, I’m certain that Becka and Danson are perfect for each other. The wedding itself is being held on 29 November, at Cathedral Peak, which is where Danson proposed, and Pietermaritzburg is Becka’s home town, so the area has special significance for both of them.

In my experience – mostly gained from watching numerous TV shows and movies - it is perfectly normal for the bride to be in a state of panic – or moderate anxiety – prior to the wedding. As far as I know, the guests are not really supposed to partake in this worry – they are supposed to show up at the wedding, comment on how lovely the happy couple looks, have a good time at the reception, smile in photos, eat some wedding cake and then go home. Easy. Fun. But somehow, with 3 weeks to go until the wedding, I am a bundle of nerves, for one simple reason: I don’t have a date!

Now, I should’ve learned from my previous experience with dates/partners/plus-one’s. When I was invited to Becka’s engagement party at the start of the year, I struggled to find a partner. I asked Luke and Duncan (both of whom were away for the weekend), Steven – who had a braai to go to – and Chris, who had to go to his brother’s birthday dinner. Just under a week before the party, I managed to get my friend, Ben, to come with me, and we had a fantastic time.

I seem to be experiencing déjà vu, ten months later… I have the wedding gift, a gorgeous red dress, and have organized to drive down to Cathedral Peak and camp at a camping site nearby. Alas, my search for a date has not proved fruitful. Luke is travelling to the other end of Kwa-Zulu Natal to complete his scuba diving qualification, Duncan is unavailable and Chris is away for the weekend. And now I am stuck and confused. I honestly have no idea who to ask! In my mind, it really shouldn’t be this difficult to find someone to come on an all-expenses paid trip for a weekend and to look good in a suit for a couple of hours! It’s pretty much a free holiday!

But, it is proving surprisingly difficult to find someone – and I don’t think this is because I’m being fussy. I don’t particularly want to take someone I don’t know very well, because the 5 hour drive - and 3 days together - could be a bit of a problem if it turns out that the random brother/best friend who is “so hot” proves to be seriously lacking in the frontal lobe department. On the other end of the spectrum, I know at least 2 guys who would give their left arm to come with me, but I’ve worked really hard to draw boundaries with these individuals, and taking one of them to the wedding will probably give them false hope about romantic possibilities with me – something I definitely don’t want to encourage! But because desperation is sinking in, I have now even seriously considered calling my ex, Alastair, out of sheer desperation, because I’m considering not going, because of my datelessness – and because there is no way I am driving to Pietermaritzburg by myself (for the sake of both my sanity and my safety).

At this point, I am holding thumbs and hoping that some lovely (or at least “alive” - because beggars can’t be choosers) boy-person appears and says “I’d love to come with you!”, or at least shuffles his feet, puts his hands in his pockets and says “Okay, fine, I’ll come”. Either way is fine with me!

The Holiday

As usual, this post begins with an apology for the sparseness of my blogging in the past few months. This has mostly been due to varsity work and exams, which have taken up most of my time recently. Fortunately, exams went well, and I’m now waiting for the results – and hopefully my acceptance into Psychology Honours at Wits!

Needless to say, the “20 Firsts” list was also put on hold, due to time constraints. Luckily, I’m now faced with the prospect of 3 months’ worth of holiday, and so I should be able to tick off at least a few more items from the list. This is likely to be my last “proper” holiday for a while, because of Honours – and hopefully Masters. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do for the next few months, but so far, I plan to go to work at the vet, as usual, read (both psych textbooks and all the books I’ve received this year, and which have remained on my bookshelf while academic texts have taken priority), sketch and paint (especially the half-finished works which are lying about), learn how to use Photoshop, potentially house-sitting, and hoping to catch up with friends (who I hope will not be joining the annual exodus from Johannesburg to the coast). I’m also going to a wedding in Pietermaritzburg at the end of November and hoping to go to Cape Town in January to visit assorted friends and family. Other than that, I’m pretty much going with the flow and seeing where things take me.

Survivor

When I started my “20 Firsts” challenge a couple of months ago, for the most part I pretty much just wrote down random things that I wanted to do, and that’s how the list was compiled. One of them was going camping – not because I’ve never been camping, but because I really haven’t been camping since I was about 12! Since I wrote the list, I haven’t given very much thought to how I’m going to accomplish the items, mostly because I’ve been incredibly preoccupied with varsity and other “stuff”. So, I was amazed when I was actually invited to go camping by someone who doesn’t even know that my list exists (unless Dustin happens to read my blog and I don’t know, which is a little creepy!)!

The camping trip itself was centered around my friend Dustin’s 21st birthday party, and the theme was “Survivor” – inspired by the TV series. The invitations were scrolls, which told us that we were challenged to “out-drink, out-party and outlast!”, while surviving 21 hours! I was a little nervous about the party itself – not for fear of being devoured by “lions, tigers and bears”, but rather because I would be camping with 30 or so engineers, who form the bulk of Dustin’s circle of friends, and for those of you who don’t know, engineers are generally quite weird, especially en masse. Nevertheless, my friend Brad and I drove off to Dustin’s house at the Vaal River – aptly named “Vaalium” – on a Friday afternoon and prepared ourselves for the festivities (or having to crawl through mud and climb trees)…

Having arrived, we were greeted by Dustin, who handed us our buffs, splitting us into either the purple or orange team. We dragged our bags down to the river (a move we would regret at 4am, when the temperature dropped severely, but which was done based on the spectacular view), and set up camp. I set my 2-person tent up by myself, while next to me, 3 engineering guys (Andrew, Jonathan and Malcolm) tried to figure out how to put up their 2-storey mansion of a tent, and ended up with a couple of extra tent-poles, which was somewhat suspicious. So far, we had completed challenge #1: building shelter. We then walked back up to the house, where a ferocious game of volley-ball was underway. I took this as an opportunity to practice my photography skills, because I’m a hazard to myself and others on the volleyball court, although the engineers did eventually convince me to join them (and then spent the rest of the match deflecting the ball away from me).

How many engineers does it take to put up a tent? (Jonathan, Andrew and Malcolm)

With most of the survivors having arrived by this stage – and having suitably exhausted themselves with building their “shelters” and defeating one another at volleyball and pool –, it was time for supper. The most challenging part of this for me was not eating the entire garlic bread myself. Yes, as much as I am generally a picky eater, I can’t resist garlic bread! Luckily, I was soon distracted by the salad – and Malcolm kindly agreed to move the bread to the other end of the table…

The majority of the rest of the evening was spent playing pool, meeting engineers and listening to the merits of aeronautical and mechanical engineering over industrial engineering, playing “30 Seconds”, learning how to sokkie with Malcolm, listening to the merits of aeronautical and mechanical engineering over industrial engineering, eating chocolate cake, sitting around the campfire while discussing the merits of aeronautical and mechanical engineering over industrial engineering (which almost ended with me asking Richard if engineers EVER talk about anything else), and eventually ended up on the tennis court, at about 00:30am, playing doubles tennis matches with Malcolm, Rob and Andrew, and then action cricket with whoever was still awake and sober enough to participate at that hour! The most impressive part of this was definitely Rob, who is a lovely indie-emo boy, who became strangely enthusiastic about tennis at 1:30am, and was tearing around the court, drink in hand. Tennis was actually a lot of fun – although that might just be because Malcolm let me serve, and because Dustin really did look like John McEnroe!

At about 3am, we wandered off to our tents to get some much-needed sleep, and we woke up at about 8am, where we traded stories about who snored, who had kicked who in the head, and whose feet were the most frozen (I’m pretty sure I won!). Then, it was time for breakfast – lots of coffee, left-over cake and some scrambled eggs, mostly eaten by very tired, somewhat hung-over groups of people – and the packing up of tents (and the question of how to remove tent-pegs from the ground when they’ve been hammered in much too hard), and the eventual trek back to Jo’burg!

And that was my camping trip! It was certainly not what I expected, but most definitely enjoyable, and I’m looking forward to the next one – regardless of the scenery, activities, company and food!

The Vaal scenery - worth freezing for!

Music and Lyrics

I am going to apologize for this post before I even begin it. For all of you who are not into somewhat pathetic, adolescent romance or who are likely to throw up at the mere suggestion of the age old scenario of “girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl thinks about boy and wishes for more than a platonic relationship”, I suggest that you skip this post and return to my blog in a couple of weeks, when I am sure I will have written another far more cynical, saccharine-free post – most likely about some more death-defying moments on the M1 highway.

For those of you who have chosen to keep reading however… You have no one to blame but yourselves!

For the record, I don’t generally like posting “stuff” about my relationships – I can’t stand people who brag about how awesomely wonderfully fantastic their sweetie honey-bear significant other is. I also can’t handle long posts by the “desperate and dateless” contingent, as they bemoan yet another Saturday night spent at home by themselves. I’d like to think that my situation is at least a little different, although I’m not so sure about it.

So, I like a boy. It has been a long time since I have found someone who I like this much and who is incidentally a real person (I frequently fall for movie and TV characters, as well as lines in emo songs). I will not bore you with descriptions or details of his looks or personality – for your own sanity, and for fear that he may read this post. Nonetheless, he is lovely, and the kind of boy-person I would like to refer to as my “boyfriend” – if I may be so bold as to use that term. Oddly enough, I would probably also settle for him just knowing that I like him and him being okay with me liking him, because I am a little nervous of rocking the boat, and that is why I have not told him how I feel.

Before this gets any more nauseating, I will get to the point of this post. Basically, I was driving home the other day, thinking about the relationship between him and I and wondering what will come of it all, when a song came onto the radio that ironically epitomized my situation. The song is by a South African band called Freshlyground, and it’s called “I’d Like”:


“What would you do if I kissed you?

What would you do if I held your hand and laid you down?

Would you find me overly familiar towards you? Would you call me insensitive, and say that I deserve to die?

What do I do with all these feelings tearing me up inside?

What do I do with all these wasted hours dreaming of you at night?



I'd like to call you sometime…



What would you do if you knew the truth?

What would you do if I told you the story of my life?

Would you find me overly familiar towards you?

Would you call me crude, fling me aside to the birds?

What do I do with all these feelings holding me back inside?

What do I do with all these wasted hours dreaming of you at night?



I'd like to call you sometime.

I'd like you to need me one time.

I’d like to call you sometime.



What would you do if I kissed you?

What would you do if I held your hand and laid you down?

Would you recognize it’s a need I've been fighting for so long? Would you recognize it’s a hunger only you can fill?

What do I do with all these feelings warming me up inside?

What do I do with all these precious hours dreaming of you at night?



I'd like to call you sometime.

I'd like you to need me one time I'd like to have you all the time.

I'd like to call you...”


So, there you have it. I don’t know what he would do if I kissed him, or if I just told him how I feel. Admittedly, the situation is not quite as romantic as the song itself, but it comes pretty close. I have no game plan at this point – just lots of uncertainty as I wonder about the situation. All I know is that if he asked me out, I would say yes.