Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Anxiety, hope and music

It's been a rough few days. We had a seminar on post-traumatic stress disorder and complex trauma on Tuesday and since then, I've just felt exhausted and emotional. I'm suddenly very, very aware of how much I have to do by June and it's suddenly made me very anxious. I need to prepare 2 presentations, write a seminar paper and make major corrections to my Research Masters dissertation. By last night, I was so anxious that I ended up taking some medication to help me sleep. I've felt a bit better as today has progressed and finishing class at 11:30 today really helped! I'm just taking it one thing at a time and hoping to stay as calm as possible. And listening to happy music helps, so here's the song that's got be through today.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Monday silliness

I've noticed that the standard response when you ask someone how they are is "Good!". Having spent 4 months with my MACC class and a fair amount of time with the other psychology Masters classes, I know how much pressure we're all under (some more than others). As a result, I'm pretty sure that none of us are, in fact, "good".

I tested this theory today with one of the Clinical Psychology students. I ran into him in the foyer of the building where our offices are this morning, and asked him how he was. The conversation went something like this:

Clin: Hey! How are you?
Me: Good. How are you?
Clin: Okay.

I don't know what possessed me, but I suddenly asked him if he really was "okay", or if he was just saying that because it was the standard response between all of us at the moment. It sadly didn't lead to a deep philosophical conversation, or any sort of meaningful interaction. Maybe it was too early in the morning. I just confused him and he disappeared into the safety of the bathroom.

I found the whole incident strangely funny. Maybe it was because it was Monday morning. I raced up to my office in giggles, and told the rest of the class what had happened. I then proceeded to do my strange, hyper dancing to music in my head thing, which tends to worry people. It all somehow reminded me of this awesome scene from "Garden State".

"Come on. What are you, shy? This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy again throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing." -Sam

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Procrastination - and things that make me happy :)

I've got a seminar paper to write and a presentation to do, but I've been feeling weird all weekend and now have a gigantic headache. All the time that I've been spending in front of the computer (procrastinating, rather than actually writing) has given me nasty neck ache, which has triggered a horrible headache this morning.

As a result, I'm distracting myself (from the work as much as the headache) with random things. One of these is the collection of pictures which I've downloaded from various websites and blogs over the last few years. There's quite an assortment of things - although cute cats seem to dominate. So, just for fun, here are a few pictures from the collection.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I'm alive! (but only just...)

It has been a shockingly long time since I've posted anything on my blog. My MA degree (yes, a second one) has taken over my life in every way possible! I'm doing a Masters in Community-based Counselling Psychology and slowly losing my mind and life in the process. My clinical supervisor has told me to start keeping a journal - mostly because I'm apparently not in touch with my emotions. I can probably do it - between 3 and 4 in the morning! As a result, I'm trying to get back into blogging, because it's as close to a journal as I can manage!

The degree is ridiculously demanding in terms of coursework. We are on campus 5 days a week, and are usually there for most of the day. We tend to have lectures in the mornings and then have to see clients and have supervision in the afternoons. It is exhausting and there's just so much to do! I have 5 seminars to present throughout the year, and 4 of them require me to write seminar papers (of about 30 pages). And my research project also needs to be done at some point. And I have to present a client in a case conference. And... There is just SO much!

My neck and shoulders are a mess at the moment. I'm supposed to be writing a seminar paper on schizophrenia and doing a presentation for one of my other courses. And procrastination has hit - big time! All I want to do is go for a drive to Emmarentia and take photos of the autumn trees! I am resorting to bribing myself - if I can do some work, I'll reward myself by going for a run later. In the meantime, I leave you with my motto for the day.

Monday, December 12, 2011

The light at the end of the tunnel

I'm handing in my MA on Thursday. The end is near! Hurray!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday Morning Madness

I am still alive - albeit barely! Things have been mad, but it's actually been quite fun. In retrospect. Basically, 2 months ago, the morning receptionist at work broke her ankle while she was in Durban. Ankles are funny things, and never seem to result in simple breaks, and so she had to stay in Durban, have surgery and then get her husband to drive her back to Jo'burg. As a result, I was thrown in the deep end of having to work morning shifts in addition to my afternoon shifts, and I had to train our new afternoon receptionist to do mornings as well. Naturally, this would all happen as I was trying to finish my MA draft.

It was not a pleasant 6 weeks. I would wake up at 5:30 and go for a run (or work on my MA), have breakfast, go to work at 7:15, get back from work at about 11:30, work on the MA some more (or have a power nap out of desperation), go back to work for my afternoon shift and then come home and work on the MA again. I would usually have some afternoons off, but all of this coincided with the afternoon receptionist's Unisa exams, so I ended up working a lot of her afternoon shifts as well.

Somehow, however, through all of this, I have managed to produce a semblance of a draft of my MA, which has gone off to my supervisor and which has now come back to me for more corrections. So far (I'm only on page 4), it doesn't seem too bad. I'm hoping to get it done this week and then send it back to her for further inspection. I'd quite like the entire MA thing to be done and dusted by December, if only because I start MA number 2 (Masters in Community and Counselling Psychology) in the 3rd week of January. And somewhere along the line, I'd quite like to have an MA-free week or 2!

The "to do" list for this week is thus:

  1. finish MA corrections

  2. bake red velvet cake for my mom's birthday

  3. start some MA #2 reading

  4. go running

  5. survive the heat wave that seems to have swept Jo'burg

I hope to have good news soon!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

At last!

After 3 years of applying, and 2 years of being on the waiting-list (and living in hope and then not-hope), I've finally been accepted into the Masters in Community-based Counselling Psychology degree! Woop woop! Myself and 11 other psychoanalytic souls will be selling our sanity to the academic gods for a year. I'm excited! And terrified. And uncertain. Because of the uncertainty, I've applied for Clinical Psychology Masters as well. I'm busy going through the interviews this week. I've fluctuated between feeling very confident and very guilty, and both feelings are related to the fact that I've already been accepted for a degree. I'm risking angering the MACC crowd by applying, but I've also noticed that 2 other people are doing exactly the same thing. My reason for applying is basically that I know more about clinical theory than I do about community stuff, and so I'm really just making my life easier. Hopefully. This didn't stop me receiving a very dirty look and a "What on earth are you doing?" from one of the MACC lecturers when he saw me standing outside the office, waiting for my clinical interview. I'm waiting to by lynched - either by one of the lecturers or one of my fellow applicants.

This basically sums up how I feel right now:

And in other news, I really want one of these: