Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Anxiety, hope and music

It's been a rough few days. We had a seminar on post-traumatic stress disorder and complex trauma on Tuesday and since then, I've just felt exhausted and emotional. I'm suddenly very, very aware of how much I have to do by June and it's suddenly made me very anxious. I need to prepare 2 presentations, write a seminar paper and make major corrections to my Research Masters dissertation. By last night, I was so anxious that I ended up taking some medication to help me sleep. I've felt a bit better as today has progressed and finishing class at 11:30 today really helped! I'm just taking it one thing at a time and hoping to stay as calm as possible. And listening to happy music helps, so here's the song that's got be through today.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Monday silliness

I've noticed that the standard response when you ask someone how they are is "Good!". Having spent 4 months with my MACC class and a fair amount of time with the other psychology Masters classes, I know how much pressure we're all under (some more than others). As a result, I'm pretty sure that none of us are, in fact, "good".

I tested this theory today with one of the Clinical Psychology students. I ran into him in the foyer of the building where our offices are this morning, and asked him how he was. The conversation went something like this:

Clin: Hey! How are you?
Me: Good. How are you?
Clin: Okay.

I don't know what possessed me, but I suddenly asked him if he really was "okay", or if he was just saying that because it was the standard response between all of us at the moment. It sadly didn't lead to a deep philosophical conversation, or any sort of meaningful interaction. Maybe it was too early in the morning. I just confused him and he disappeared into the safety of the bathroom.

I found the whole incident strangely funny. Maybe it was because it was Monday morning. I raced up to my office in giggles, and told the rest of the class what had happened. I then proceeded to do my strange, hyper dancing to music in my head thing, which tends to worry people. It all somehow reminded me of this awesome scene from "Garden State".

"Come on. What are you, shy? This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy again throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing." -Sam

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Procrastination - and things that make me happy :)

I've got a seminar paper to write and a presentation to do, but I've been feeling weird all weekend and now have a gigantic headache. All the time that I've been spending in front of the computer (procrastinating, rather than actually writing) has given me nasty neck ache, which has triggered a horrible headache this morning.

As a result, I'm distracting myself (from the work as much as the headache) with random things. One of these is the collection of pictures which I've downloaded from various websites and blogs over the last few years. There's quite an assortment of things - although cute cats seem to dominate. So, just for fun, here are a few pictures from the collection.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I'm alive! (but only just...)

It has been a shockingly long time since I've posted anything on my blog. My MA degree (yes, a second one) has taken over my life in every way possible! I'm doing a Masters in Community-based Counselling Psychology and slowly losing my mind and life in the process. My clinical supervisor has told me to start keeping a journal - mostly because I'm apparently not in touch with my emotions. I can probably do it - between 3 and 4 in the morning! As a result, I'm trying to get back into blogging, because it's as close to a journal as I can manage!

The degree is ridiculously demanding in terms of coursework. We are on campus 5 days a week, and are usually there for most of the day. We tend to have lectures in the mornings and then have to see clients and have supervision in the afternoons. It is exhausting and there's just so much to do! I have 5 seminars to present throughout the year, and 4 of them require me to write seminar papers (of about 30 pages). And my research project also needs to be done at some point. And I have to present a client in a case conference. And... There is just SO much!

My neck and shoulders are a mess at the moment. I'm supposed to be writing a seminar paper on schizophrenia and doing a presentation for one of my other courses. And procrastination has hit - big time! All I want to do is go for a drive to Emmarentia and take photos of the autumn trees! I am resorting to bribing myself - if I can do some work, I'll reward myself by going for a run later. In the meantime, I leave you with my motto for the day.