Friday, August 7, 2009

Anger Management

I have never been so glad to see the end of a week! I'm not usually one of those people who counts the seconds until Friday afternoon arrives, but I arrived home today feeling incredibly glad that this week was over. Part of the reason behind this is that varsity is really stressful at the moment. The other factor is that I am suddenly, bizarrely, angry. This is particularly strange for me, because I don't usually get angry. I usually get sad and then feel guilty about whatever has happened, even if I have just cause to be annoyed. I'll usually cry, rather than punch someone. But, it appears after all those weeks of telling the psychology department about my ability to deal with anger, that I'm being tested on it. Instead of sublimating (the healthiest defence mechanism, according to Freud), however, I've actually been letting people know how I feel. It's been weird, but oddly good. I still feel somewhat angry right now, and I'm really glad that I didn't run into a few select individuals this week, because I would probably have punched them (which is rather strange, especially for me!) or told them exactly what I think of them. I have stood up for myself this week though, which has felt pretty good. Just to be on the safe side though, I haven't made any plans for this weekend, aside from house-sitting. I think it's probably safer for me to be away from the rest of the general population.
This post was originally intended to be a rant about how much I've wanted to punch certain people this week and how angry I've been, but as annoyed as I've felt, these sneaky little moments of happiness keep floating across my mind, kind of like clouds parting and the sun coming out on a rainy day. So, instead of ranting, I shall make a list of these things. Far more psychologically (and karmically) beneficial, I think!
Happy thoughts and things that have made me smile this week
1) It's a long weekend! (which really means extra time to do varsity stuff, but what the heck!)
2) I got invited to UJ Clinical and MACC interviews
3) I spoke to my supervisor and I might actually be able to make my research project work
4) I finally decided that enough was enough in a certain relationship, and that I'm tired of putting
my life on hold for someone who doesn't seem to know what they want. It was tough, but I
feel lighter and freer than I have in ages!
5) "I've got a feeling" - Black Eyed Peas
6) It's getting warmer! Summer is on its way!
7) "Airstream Driver" - Gomez
8) I have a crush on a boy. Enough said. :)
9) My boss and his girlfriend got engaged, and I'm so happy for them!
10) My crazy kitten, Darcy
11) Cake Wrecks - the greatest, most amusing website of all time!
12) The adorable "Peanuts" t-shirt that I saw at Mr Price. It says "Trade your boyfriend for a
musician". I have good intentions of buying it!
13) The prospect of my Wits stipend being paid into my bank account (which should help item
number 12!)
14) Being able to not take sides in arguments between friends this week.
15) I can wear heels again without my foot and ankle aching!
16) I have fantastic friends who have put up with my somewhat psychotic state this week
17) I'm reading "Atonement" by Ian McEwan at the moment, and loving it!
18) Sharing vet stories with Helen over coffee (there are things that only vet receptionists
understand, like the constantly disappearing pens)
19) Driving. I love driving at the moment!
20) Being EEG'd. Yes, I'm still going on about it. It was awesome!
Have a fantastic weekend!

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