Things not to do: kneecap dislocation

As you may know, my boyfriend's nickname is He of Many Sports Injuries (HOMSI for short). This is pretty appropriate, since the first time that he and I spoke, he spent 2 hours recounting all his sports injuries to me (I was a captive audience at the time, having torn all the ligaments in my ankle and I was pretty drugged up and thus unable to escape - or walk, for that matter). He's dislocated both shoulders, broken his ankle, leg and arm (not simultaneously, thankfully) and spent a couple of weeks in traction for 3 slipped discs... Oh, and he also had 5 strokes at the beginning of the year, which seem to have been from a neck injury.

He and I are looking like a pretty good couple at the moment, since I'm currently recovering from having dislocated my kneecap in my sleep. Yes, in my sleep! I was fast asleep on Wednesday morning when I rolled onto my side and felt a pain in my right knee that was so intense that I woke up. I tried to straighten my leg and nearly screamed, as my knee was extremely unwilling to move. It felt like a really intense spasm at the back of my knee. I tried to straighten it again, and burst into tears from the pain. It was about 5:30 in the morning, and I was rather reluctant to wake up my mom, but I was somewhat stuck because I couldn't get out of bed. She actually heard me though - I think I swore as I tried to move my leg again - and she came to see what was going on. What followed was about 90 minutes of putting hot water bottles on it, calling my GP who thought it was a blood clot, me crying every time I tried to straighten or even move the leg, and my mom eventually calling an ambulance because she couldn't move me into the car (and my dad couldn't help, since he's in a wheelchair). In the midst of all of this, I was smsing HOMSI, who suggested that I see the biokineticists (problematic as I couldn't get out of bed), or stretch it (more problematic, as that was f&*king painful!). As we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, I sat up and the pain suddenly lifted. I don't know what I did, since I'd sat up at least twice before, but it moved something and I could feel what had been out of place pop back into where it was supposed to be in my knee!

I went to go see the biokineticist that morning, since I had an appointment anyway. And I drove myself there, since my knee was feeling much better and since I thought it had just been a spasm. As it turns out, we discovered that my patella (i.e. the kneecap) has somehow slid off the knee and that was what the initial pain was from. The patella had somehow managed to make its way back into position though, which was clearly what had happened when it popped back into place. How I managed to subluxate (i.e dislocate) my kneecap in my sleep is a complete mystery though!

So, the last few days have been spent not running, putting ice on my knee, strapping it and taking anti-inflammatories. And getting increasingly annoyed by my lack of mobility. Grumble, grumble... Apparently it can happen again, which is why I'm being super careful, since the prospect of going through that pain again makes me feel sick. I can safely say that patella subluxation is not a good idea at all! And I'm clearly doing kung fu or something in my sleep, because I don't know how I managed to do this!