Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Foreign Affair

It’s done! At last! After months and months of procrastination, and motivated by dwindling free time, I finally braved the Home Affairs office this morning to apply for my passport! “Braved” is certainly the right word to use in this context, because all South Africans know that going to any government department (although mostly Home Affairs and the traffic department) is likely to require courage, patience and comfortable shoes (As an aside, I’d love to know how our system measures up against international standards – I mean, are South Africans just complaining excessively about something which is a global phenomenon, or is applying for a passport or identity document in Canada or England or Belgium an effortless process? I only ask because I wonder if things are truly as bad as people make them out to be, or if it’s just one of those things, like packed shopping malls in the week before Christmas, and most government departments are slow and poorly organized and it’s just a fact of life).

In any case, I spent the week “preparing” myself, by having passport photos taken and clearing Thursday of any other plans, just in case it took the entire day. I also did some research on the Home Affairs website, and checked what documents I needed and how much everything would cost, as the last thing I wanted was to get to the front of the queue and be told that I needed some copy of a mysterious document! I also spoke to people who know about these things – mostly Luke and his mom, who told me to go early, as this was the easiest way to get it done quickly, and to take a book with, just in case.

I set off this morning, armed with my ID, birth certificate, flat shoes, water, a book, my cellphone and the necessary money. I didn’t leave as early as I had initially planned, but having driven past the office twice, I finally found parking, and set off towards the building. Once inside, I was rather shocked by the length of the queue, but got the necessary forms and joined the queue. Unfortunately, at this point, I suddenly realized that having copies of my ID and birth certificate was probably a good idea, so I popped into the shop next door to Home Affairs, got the documents photocopied and then rejoined the queue. It was now 8:40am. There were only 12 people ahead of me, and the queue was actually moving – albeit slowly. Rather than reading my book, I decided that people-watching was far more interesting, and between the Asian baby, the two Afrikaans “poppies” who were discussing period pain and the yuppie who had decided to attempt the queue in stiletto heels, I was kept entertained. I finally reached the front of the queue, where I presented my filled-out form to the clerk on duty, who paged through it, scanned through my information and then looked at me and asked how old I was. Clearly, he didn’t think I was old enough to be applying for a passport on my own, and he expected to see my parents with me. Having explained that I was indeed 21, and that, if he were to glance at the ID number and birth certificate in front of him this would become apparent, he attached my photos, covered the documents in stamps and sent me off to counter 5, where I paid. Then it was off to have my finger prints taken by a man who seemed to think that, because he had a big pad of black ink and got to roll people’s fingers around in it, he had the most authority of anyone in the entire office (incidentally, does anyone know how to get that wretched black ink off one’s skin? This stuff seems to be permanent!)! Luckily, it was over quickly, and by the time I emerged from Home Affairs, it was only 9:10am! I am still somewhat in awe of how quick and easy the process was – and just hope that all my new-found faith in Home Affairs and South African bureaucracy is not undone by my passport never appearing! Only time will tell, and that could take between 3 and 6 weeks!

PS – I have just re-read my post, and have become amazed by the fact that I can write this much on one incident, when I could have just said that I had gone to apply for my passport, and left it at that. Clearly, after three years of writing English essays, I have learned to waffle, with some degree of style, and it seems that I can draw out any subject matter long enough to cover at least 500 words! The joys of academia!
PPS - I realise that the title of this post is a bit of a stretch, but I really couldn't find too many movie titles that had anything to do with passports and Home Affairs. I eventually settled for the current title, although I haven't seen the film. Apparently, it was produced in 2003 and starred Tim Blake Nelson and David Arquette. Um... Yeah...

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